For as long as I remember I wondered what it would be like to have a best friend. I often envisioned being part of a DJ and MC duo or being one half of a power couple in love. Day dreams of throwing a trophy winning alley-oop or building a dynasty with a boss like me. My best friend and I were suppose to do something great together, unfortunately I never met him... or her, until now. After 37 years of riding life's roller coaster, I found my co pilot and now I finally now what it's like to have a best friend. Chaz is best friend. He is my 11 Year old son, my middle child and the truth is if it wasn't for him I would not have survived the past few years. I was like Mark Wahlberg in the movie Invincible.. alone, punching holes in the walls of an empty apartment. Dealing with break up was hard on all of us. Luckily this young soul was around to keep me sane.
Chaz was born out of love, pure love. After getting shot, I woke up in the hospital to learn my younger brother Chaz had not survived and before I knew what I was doing, I had asked my daughters mother if we can have a baby boy. My brother died a horrible and senseless death and I will write about it someday but I now realize that the subconscious idea of reincarnating my little brother into my son was the only thing that kept me alive after that tragic funeral.
I survived the ultimate depression and Somehow I have been able to give my son Chaz a better childhood than I had. It's far from living like the Huxtables and I have lost count of how many times I have had to tell my children, "Sorry Daddy can't afford that today". I am so honest with my kids that I never lied to them about Santa Claus or the Easter bunny. I don't hide my flaws or my struggle from my son. Story after story not to mention the hard times he has witnessed. It's been far from easy but Chaz gets it. He gets me and he knows he has to be better than me.
At times I often find myself stuck with a blank sky gazing stared while being sun-kissed by God and sunken into a state of gratifying shock. I am mesmerized that I have survived thus far and forever grateful that God has given me to opportunity to see what I could have been. Chaz is a special child. Smart, talented and capable. This guy has a good heart, he is polite and well behaved, Chaz is loved by his peers and their parents. He has never had a fight in school and gets awards at every school assembly. He is everything I could of been with the right amount of love, attention and wisdom. He is the son I dreamt of having. Since I myself was in 6th grade I was determined to break the cycle but I realized moments ago, I could have never done it alone. Chaz, his mother and I...Together we broke the downward spiraling out of control self destructive Presley family cycle and have given Chaz a fair chance to be happy and successful in life.
In the process of trying to be the father I always wanted to have, I raised the son I always wanted to be. Chaz has become my best friend and my greatest accomplishment thus far. Sometimes I wish I could pause time and just live in this moment forever. We have been playing Chess against each since he was in 1st grade and he almost beat me on Christmas. He finally beat me in NBA 2K with a last second buzzer beater by Kyrie Irving and he acted like it was the highlight of his life. We shoot hoops together, We hit the batting cages and we both went camping for the first time last year. We went fishing, found some waterfalls on a hike and love crashing amusement parks as well. Lately we have been binging on Fortnite. Chaz is sooooo good is disgusts me. He is probably better than 90% of the globe and this game is so addicting, Last week I stayed up all nite playing. Literally all nite, which got me chewed out by my girlfriend because I never came to bed. SMH didn't care thou... I got to catch up to Chaz so we can play squads together. LOL.
I love Chaz so much I would die for him... just like his uncle died protecting his friends and family. This young man represents everything good about humanity. He is caring, honest, funny and humble. He is innocent, sinless, and karma free. I wish that would never change. I would die today to ensure my son Chaz would never regress into a state of ill mannered curiosity or negativity. I have done a great job thus far but Chaz is now at the age of influence, going into junior high next year he will began to change and Im scared I will not only lose my best friend but all the process we made breaking the cycle. Im scared I will loss my best friend to the lusts of the world and I know the direction Chaz goes will ultimately affect his younger brother AJ. So I'm not letting up. I will be there for you Chaz as long as I am alive you can count on me being by your side. After I'm gone you can count on my diary for wisdom and perspective but the bottom line is... it's up to you. Only you can keep the cycle broken.
So please forgive for every past scolding or ass whopping. Someday I might whoop your ass again, yell at you or even pop you in the back of your head... it's because I have too. It's because love you. It's because not only does your future depend on it... but quite their is a possibility the future of humanity could spend on you. So please Chas... stay focused, be good and work hard. Remember not to hurt anyone that isn't trying to hurt you and always fear death. The wrong drug, the wrong friend, the wrong way in life can get you killed and we only get one chance in this game of life.... it's up to you to make the most of it. Keep making me proud dude!
At times I often find myself stuck with a blank sky gazing stared while being sun-kissed by God and sunken into a state of gratifying shock. I am mesmerized that I have survived thus far and forever grateful that God has given me to opportunity to see what I could have been. Chaz is a special child. Smart, talented and capable. This guy has a good heart, he is polite and well behaved, Chaz is loved by his peers and their parents. He has never had a fight in school and gets awards at every school assembly. He is everything I could of been with the right amount of love, attention and wisdom. He is the son I dreamt of having. Since I myself was in 6th grade I was determined to break the cycle but I realized moments ago, I could have never done it alone. Chaz, his mother and I...Together we broke the downward spiraling out of control self destructive Presley family cycle and have given Chaz a fair chance to be happy and successful in life.
In the process of trying to be the father I always wanted to have, I raised the son I always wanted to be. Chaz has become my best friend and my greatest accomplishment thus far. Sometimes I wish I could pause time and just live in this moment forever. We have been playing Chess against each since he was in 1st grade and he almost beat me on Christmas. He finally beat me in NBA 2K with a last second buzzer beater by Kyrie Irving and he acted like it was the highlight of his life. We shoot hoops together, We hit the batting cages and we both went camping for the first time last year. We went fishing, found some waterfalls on a hike and love crashing amusement parks as well. Lately we have been binging on Fortnite. Chaz is sooooo good is disgusts me. He is probably better than 90% of the globe and this game is so addicting, Last week I stayed up all nite playing. Literally all nite, which got me chewed out by my girlfriend because I never came to bed. SMH didn't care thou... I got to catch up to Chaz so we can play squads together. LOL.
I love Chaz so much I would die for him... just like his uncle died protecting his friends and family. This young man represents everything good about humanity. He is caring, honest, funny and humble. He is innocent, sinless, and karma free. I wish that would never change. I would die today to ensure my son Chaz would never regress into a state of ill mannered curiosity or negativity. I have done a great job thus far but Chaz is now at the age of influence, going into junior high next year he will began to change and Im scared I will not only lose my best friend but all the process we made breaking the cycle. Im scared I will loss my best friend to the lusts of the world and I know the direction Chaz goes will ultimately affect his younger brother AJ. So I'm not letting up. I will be there for you Chaz as long as I am alive you can count on me being by your side. After I'm gone you can count on my diary for wisdom and perspective but the bottom line is... it's up to you. Only you can keep the cycle broken.
So please forgive for every past scolding or ass whopping. Someday I might whoop your ass again, yell at you or even pop you in the back of your head... it's because I have too. It's because love you. It's because not only does your future depend on it... but quite their is a possibility the future of humanity could spend on you. So please Chas... stay focused, be good and work hard. Remember not to hurt anyone that isn't trying to hurt you and always fear death. The wrong drug, the wrong friend, the wrong way in life can get you killed and we only get one chance in this game of life.... it's up to you to make the most of it. Keep making me proud dude!
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