I'm sorry I can't help it but no matter how bad I want to be a God... I am far from it. I was born into a world full of cheaters, liars, thieves and murderers. I adopted survival skills from the wicked, the selfish and the evil of this world. I allowed my morals and perspectives to be corrupted as I too became an ill minded sinner. I know deep down I wasn't born corrupted and you my lord must know that I never wanted to corrupt anyone or anything on this planet but the reality is.... I wasn't raised, I just grew up.
So today I am praying that you can forgive me for my sins. It took me a long time to grow up and I shamefully admit that in the process my mistakes have negatively affected this world. It's affected my journey, the people I love and their journeys as well. For as long as I can remember I have been spiritual, growing up around Catholicism and Christianity. I have always yearned for truth, purpose and meaning of life. God I have always wanted to be your soldier to fight evil but somehow I ended up accepting certain evils for my convenience. Forgive me Please!
I have lied to people with and without purpose. Robbed people to survive. Sold drugs to profit. I had accepted these ways of life. I let the world tell me it was okay. I let the mirror tell me that I could not be better but you knew my heart and because of it you protected me. I was young, alone and lost. I guess if anyone has an excuse for accepting such evils it was me.... but I could of been and should have been much better. I was weak and wrong. I am sorry for that and I'm not just apologizing to you my lord... but also to all my friends, classmates, neighbors and especially my family. Life would have been much more different if I had the fortitude of a young Bruce Wayne.
God you know I am far from perfect. You know I have much more growing to do but lately I am starting to become somewhat proud of the person I have become. I think most that live a life like mine usually end up dying in the middle of their nightmares but seeing the person I have become has given me a sense of gratitude that I can't describe. I feel accomplished now! I feel like Wisdom is cooler than any super power I ever imagined. I feel like have succeeded because I know I am on the right track. So I thank you for giving the strength and luck I needed to survive to see the 2018 reflection of me. It's refreshing!
I guess you have forgiven me or as much as a parent could but I doubt it is really a clean slate because I feel like the karma scale is not quite in my favor. I think you have forgiven me enough to still love me and I love you for that. I don't want that to change. So please forgive me if I was wrong at Calvary Chapel a few weeks ago. Forgive me anytime and every time I share my philosophy with humanity but I don't care what your name is. I don't care what your son's name is. I don't care if my neighbors calls you Buddha, Allah, Jesus, Yoshua, Yahweh or God. I am calling you God or Lord soooooo please forgive me IF I am wrong. In addition I don't care about belonging to specific religion. I might attend a church again someday to absorb the spiritual aspects I yearn for but my religion is called love and it will never be convoluted by money or politics. It will never be defined by one denomination.
I must admit that I want you to ignore my gambling. I think many religious fanatics despise all types of gambling. Most of the religious world would classify gambling as a sin. So much so that I feel the need to ask you for forgiveness due to the stereotypes. However I have no weight on my shoulders and with my perspective I am praying for your forgiveness for all those like me around the globe. I might visit the casino twice a year. I might jump in the dice game at the homies. I might play DFS for the rest of my life but I am not ashamed.
In this world there are so many short cuts in life. People are always looking to get something for nothing. Some take extra breaks at work. Some steal from the tip jar. Students cheat on tests. Cops steal money. Politicians corrupt elections. The hardcore will sell drugs or rob banks but no matter what the short cut in life is, that short cut is always immoral. When someone in this life takes a shortcut it generally revolves around some form of lie. That is not the case when I play Black Jack. That is not the case when I bet $100 on the Lakers. I can spend $20 on a fantasy football team and if I study hard enough and get lucky enough that $20 can become $1,000,000 and not matter what anyone says in life... I can never stop taking that chance because there is no other legal short cuts in life. In fact the hope of winning on Draft Kings, at times.... might be the only thing keeping me from robbing someone or some bank. So this dice slinger is asking his creator, My GOD please don't hold it against us.
Finally my lord.. I don't think Sex is not a sin. It can't be! I must admit I have a passion for perversion but that is not a bad thing. Im not hurting anyone or disrespecting anyone. Enjoying sex is not bad and I won't let anyone tell me anything different. There are millions of mysteries about life but no matter what questions remain, no one can dispute the fact that a man and a women were meant for each other. Sex is spiritual. It's not only how we reproduce but it is indisputably tied to our love and happiness. Many people stereotype strip clubs, poly couples and the porn industry but the truth is I have no shame when it comes to my sexual desires. I have no shame because I am not hurting anyone. I know that all across the globe people use sex for power, manipulation, human trafficking and some do it for humiliation or pain. These are the sinners my lord. Those are the ones that deserve be cursed but there are many humans around the globe full of lust that truly deserve your forgiveness. Please don't hold it against the lovers, don't hold it against the romantic. If there is a human that keeps there perversions regulated to entertainment, healthy sex, true love and therapeutic happiness without hurting others or deceiving them.... please accepts their hearts. You made us this way so please accept me!
With that said, aside from my perversion and my fantasy football teams there is nothing in my behavior that anyone can use to judge me. Aside from that I don't "SIN". I no longer lie to people. I didn't resort to selling drugs or rob people even thou I had to sleep in my truck last month. I don't have any hate or prejudices against any genres of people for any reason. I don't practice evil or tolerate negativity. Somehow I have become a well rounded, generous, loyal, hard working, honest and helpful person. So if my few vices truly are "Sins" please remember my lord,... that there are millions that are worse than me. Please forgive me!
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